substance and meaning

There are certain chains of life events that have redefined a person’s life. Mine was meeting O ten years ago around this time of the year. I had just moved to Boston a few months prior, entering first year of graduate school, and adjusting to a new culture that the east coast presented. I was just recently unattached myself from a complicated relationship, and not intending to be attached to anyone soon. Life was exciting and intellectually stimulating as going back to school allowed me to feel the vigor of living my own life thousands of miles away from the family.

Then came that chain of life events…and O appeared. He appeared to throw me off from all of my preexisting criteria of what to look for and from a significant other. He was different — culture, religion, and life backgrounds. However, of and among all these challenges presented to us, we found triumph to over come social prejudice, stigma, ridicule, stereotypes, and expectation of an interracial marriage. I must say, one of my greatest achievements and accomplishments in life, is to live my own life, follow my heart, and stay on that chosen path despite having all the naysayers and things that went against us.

With O, I found the substance and meaning of life. I don’t look for the perfect match, or wish for the far-fetched cliché of “happily forever after.” O and I were (and still are) different people, but we do live our lives finding compatibility. I always tell our friends, that he is not the best match for me, but the most compatible. For the rest, we embrace the art of “compromise.” Ten years after that first meeting, and with two sons in tow, he is still the first person to know my feeling, thoughts, and worries. Most of all, he is the best friend that I never had growing up, and I am glad I found that special connection from him.

Happy 43rd birthday, my beloved!

And of course, these two clowns add more substance and meaning to our lives. How could we ever live without them? 😀


Peanut at six months going on seven. Today was the first day we put him on the high chair to join us for lunch. He was very excited.



Khalam 02.17.13


Noah at Tet 2013