Ache

O is leaving in two days; My heart has begun to ache. I am just not good at dealing with separation anxiety.

But the glass is half full. O has spent a month and a half with us. Time was well spent and the boys simply adore their father. It’s the bonds amongst them that make my heart flutters and aches all in one. PP has already asked questions about O’s departure and the time of his return.

We are planning to meet him in Africa either in March or April unless God has some other plans for us to see him sooner than that. O’s job is so much needed there that he is not able to break the contract. It is a blessing that his professional specialty and expertise is rare to have but it is also a curse that doing what he does would potentially put him in danger as a target of threat. As a wife and a mother I want to be selfish and not let him go. I am a bit torn but I let him make the ultimate decision after giving him my thoughts.

Years later when we look back in retrospect, I think we both will agree that the experience and life challenges are all worthy of our time and the physical distance.

But for now, I have to admit that my heart does ache a little, or maybe, a lot. And it’s okay to be achy for a while because being in denial could be worse.

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